(Winner - Runner Up Digital Journalist of the Year, Guardian Student Media Awards)
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
University of Sexford
Oxford. The city of dreaming spires. Dreaming, I so often think, like so many cocks, erect cocks, pointing into the open air. Pointing into what, you might ask? Knowledge. Knowledge, hanging there, like an intellectual vagina. A big vagina, you might say, to hold all those spires in at once? Almost as big as mine.
There’s a stereotype of Oxford, one of gown-clad cyclists in libraries having very little sex whatsoever. For the men, this is wholly correct. Is it for the women?
No. Yet, can we talk about it? No. Like anywhere else, being a woman who enjoys sex gets you called all sorts – names like “jezebel”, or “harlot”, or “fornicator” which you just don’t see applied to men even now.
So stay tuned, as I’m about to expose to you the shocking, sexy truths of one Oxford girl’s sexual exploits (“sexualploits”)! Given that I have a lot of sex now, it might surprise you to know that when I first came to Oxford, I was a virgin. More on that, and my first time, later on. I won’t say who it was, or even give a first name – as Hertford’s a small college – but let’s just call him “the Welsh-Mexican one”.
Needless to say, four men (and a box set of Sex and The City) later, I’ve certainly gained some experience! Statistically speaking, that’s over two nationalities (English ones seem to have the biggest dicks, if you were wondering, with Welsh-Mexicans second).
I'd now describe myself, literally, as a rabid nymphomaniac. My only aim is to show that people’s stereotypes of Oxford aren’t always right. I don’t do this for notoriety, or fame – as though that’s what anyone wants, when they publish a sex-blog to thousands of people online!
I’d hate people to find out who I am – the embarrassment would kill me, not to mention my family, unless it was as part of a magazine deal for at least two thousand pounds.
So I’ll be remaining anonymous – there’s some things you tell people, and some you just have to keep private. Now stick around, as I tell you everything about giving random blowjobs to virtual strangers.
All characters and situations portrayed on this blog are entirely factual. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is both intentional and hilarious. Everything on this page is absolutely true (except this sentence).
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