Saturday, 27 February 2010

Gavin' it off

I could tell he was a charmer from the start. “Come back with me, and I’ll take you to whole new realms of pleasure”, he told me. “You’re the sexiest girl I’ve set eyes on.”

“I bet you say that to all the girls.”

"Of course not, Tanya”. It wasn’t my name, but it’s not like it affected his point.

We made towards the door, and a well-built, charming man opened it for me. Like Gavin, he looked Indian, or something like that. He and I exchanged handshakes.

“[My name]”, I told him. He cast a glance towards Gavin. “And this is… Jeremy.”, Gavin said. “Yes. Jeremy. Is it alright if he comes home with us?”

Now, sure, I’m an adventurous girl, and I’ll try most things once, though nothing overly disgusting, like handjobs. But being watched? ‘I’ll leave that to the exhibitionists and the porn stars’, I thought. ‘As a sex-blogger, I’m entirely different.’

So, I politely declined. On the way home, I swore I could see Jeremy behind us, keeping around forty paces behind, dressed in a balaclava and keeping to strategic observation positions, but I dismissed it.

At any rate, Gavin didn’t notice.

As it happened, Gavin lived in the Randolph! As his door swang shut behind us, he ran his hands through my hair. “Now I will make you my wife”, he told me.

“Oh, Gavin.”

“Call me Bilawal.”

“Bilawal? I thought you said your name was Gavin?”

“Bilawal is my nickname. Now kiss me, my darling.”

I let him kiss me. “I knew you didn’t look like a Gavin”, I told him.

“Yes. Yes.” He moved his hands further down.

“Maybe a Nigel, or a Derek. Not a Gavin.”

He undressed me slowly, and pushed a sheaf of paper into my hands. “Sign this.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a consent form”, he replied. “It proves legally that you’re willing to do this.” I smiled. It’s not often you see a man with such a commitment to feminism.

My vision was blurred by then, and I groped for a pen. My eyes caught a few of the words. I mumbled. “Disco… closure? Juris… what’s this word?”

“Never mind that”, he murmured. “Just sign it, and we can make love.” Like me, he seemed quite the romantic.

“Why so many pages?”

“It also incorporates a standard liability waiver and non-disclosure agreement”

He wasn’t making any sense by then. I asked what he meant.

“It means you can’t tell anyone. Like, the papers.”

“The papers?”

“Well, 'anyone' includes the papers, right?” It was good logic. We made love, and it was good. Many people badmouth the Indian men, but he gave me many orgasms, some with his penis, and some with hands.

Yes, Gavin was a man who knew how to treat a woman. As he came, I wondered when I’d get to meet his mother, but thought I might be getting ahead of things.

I woke up, and it was nine a.m.. Gavin was gone, and so were all traces of him. Dazed, I stumbled over to the door, in time to hear a knock.

It was Jeremy, in dark black glasses.

“I’ll walk you home”, he said.

To Be Continued. . .

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