Sunday 7 March 2010

Around the World in Eighty Lays: An Introduction

I'm absolutely thrilled by the amount of attention this is getting already. When I started this anonymous blog about sex at the world's most famous university, started a Twitter feed pointing everyone to it and offered interviews to the major student papers, I never dreamt it would get this popular! But now a week later, with four followers - that's almost one per post!

But with this level of exposure comes the risk of getting caught out. For example: for the past week, I've had the Daily Express on my doorstep. And, on the occasions when I've taken it in to read, I've realised that they're the kind of paper that would really take an interest.

Of course, by now, questions are flying thick and fast. People say:

"Belle,

Given that you're not an actual prostitute and so don't have a job from which to draw a regular supply of sex tales, don't you see this blog rapidly declining into a tedious collection of Oxbridge stereotypes, in lieu of any actual details of, like, sex?

Don't you think that by insisting you'd never be paid for sex, unlike Belle du Jour, then accepting payment from magazines on the back of this - ie, having lots of sex - you're blurring a whole lot of moral boundaries?

Don't you see a risk that the blog will start to dominate you, and soon when you'll drag a man home for sex, you'll try to tell yourself that it's all for you - but there'll be a nagging pull at the back of your mind telling you that this is for the fans, not you - no, this isn't what you want at all?

What about when he's inside you, and you long just to feel pleasure, but your mind keeps suggesting similies - 'like a horse? No. Like a mattress? No. Like a bear? That'll do. Put that in paragraph 2. Move the semicolon.'

Don't you think that now the glare of media attention has dulled and moved away, it's time to admit that you can't keep this going, that the Oxford name won't just paper over mediocrity, and that there's simply better hobbies one can have? And if not, how are you going to force life into this dead horse - how are you going to keep people interested? What fresh gimmick can you dream up to keep your desperate grip on this retreating limelight?"


Well, if you're thinking the answer to that last one is,
'list each of my various conquests by nationality with a smattering of cultural stereotypes thrown in', you won't be disappointed! More soon!

Belle,
xo

12 comments:

  1. Well, I guess you need one more follower, now.

    As an aside, you have to admit sexatoxbridge is sexy, if nothing else! Well she actually seems really nice!

    But keep up with your posts. Us followers, all 4 of us, are eagerly wanting for more!

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  2. I just get the feeling, no offence intended, that this blog is a heavy handed attempt to satire the Oxbridge work, and it's written by a bloke to boot.

    I could be wrong and I hope that I am. Both Oxford and Oxbridge have inspired me to write down my own Oxford sex memoirs which now fill a spot every Wednesday - and will do until I get bored with the theme.

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  3. What gives you that idea, Exile? Either the "satire", or the "bloke"... xx

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  4. OK, if I am wrong then I do apologise and I must say that for once I am not trying to start a fight.

    Satire may be the wrong word, but the blog does seem to follow almost a template as created by Sex at Oxbridge. She writes about foreigners, so do you - that struck me almost at once.

    As to gender, well I am not a linguist, but the writing style is decidedly masculine. Maybe it is just me.

    I still like the blog for all that!

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  5. @Exile. It blatantly a satire. And I too thought the writing style was masculine- its in one of my earlier comments!

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  6. Fair play. Pretty damn funny if you ask me.

    xx

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  7. To be candid, Curmudgeon, I have my doubts about the gender of the Oxbridge blogger as well, but never mind. A new student authoress, certainly female in my book, has just started up and needs some hits and publicity. I have just given her a plug and the link is the new top posting at my place - I can't remember it offhand.

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  8. I'm pretty sure oxbridge is female. She sounds very girlike. I can't imagine a guy writing like that, really.

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  9. I am not entirely convinced, but reading the Tweets suggests that you are correct as they are very girly.

    I think I might delete this one from my list, though. It could have been so damned good but it is hard to figure out what the writer is aiming at.

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  10. don't do that Mr. Exile. We will miss you frightfully.

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  11. No you wouldn't, but thanks for saying it anyway.

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